Put this in Stone! (Cuthery edition)

After constant harassment from my fellow Put in Stoners (has a nice ring to it, eh?). I have finally decided to get off my lazy behind and add a post. The truth is that since Elliot has finally gotten around to it I was feeling somewhat embarrassed by my lack of participation. While I refuse to make excuse as to why it took my so long to make that post everyone has been eagerly anticipating, the main problem was trying to find that perfect topic to make my debut with. I didn't want to make my presence known by quietly going about my business. No, I want to make the big bang. I wanted to be like Chris Jericho interrupting the Rock on Monday Might Raw in 1999. My presence needed to be known by the best of the best, you see. I tossed around several ideas that started with Rob Parker letting his racism shine though by accusing a college kid of a felony without any hard evidence. I thought this would have truly let my brilliance shine through. The thing is Rob Parker gives us at least one reason every time he's on First and 10, and honestly making up stories isn't anything outside of the norm for the Detroit sports media. There were several other ideas being tossed around in this fantastic head of mine and when I had settled on the genius that is MSU wide receivers that look like aliens (see Plaxico "Cheddar Bob" Burress) someone else beats me to the punch. And then suddenly while driving to class today it hit me. And I bet you really want to know what it is....

Cuthery!

Cuthery is right up there with Benifer, Brangelina, and Spidey. Well, in case you hadn't heard, Sean Avery made some remarks about his ex, the mega-hottie Elisha Cuthbert. First, let's set the context.

Cuthbert is dating Dion Phaneuf, defensemen for the Calgary Flames. In fact, Phaneuf is a beast. The only defensemen in the NHL who rival him at this point, are Nic Lidstrom and Chris Pronger. Anyway, Cuthbert has what you would call a past of dating hockey players. Basically, Cuthbert is the Alyssa Milano of the NHL. Sean Avery is just a above average NHLer who just really wants to be famous more than he wants to play hockey. He actually got his start with the Wings back in the day and was a solid player. Eventually, Avery was traded for Matty Scheneider in 2004. In addition, Avery was what you would call and agitator on the ice and had some decent skills. Avery makes some money and some celeb friends in LA and is then traded to the Rangers in 2007. He goes on to intern at Vogue and work his way out of the hockey dime light and into the limelight. Apparently, his lack of dedication to the game led him to sign with the Dallas Stars in the off season on a 4-year 15.5 milllllllllion dollar contract. Let's put it this way, if Avery had an offer in any city of significance in the limelight world (LA or NY), he would have taken it. No one wanted him because at this point everyone in hockey except Brett Hull knew what Avery's real intentions are. This brings us to the comments. Avery calls Cuthbert his, "sloppy seconds," before a game against Calgary to piss off his opponents most notably Phaneuf, which is basically Avery's game on the ice. Draw some penalties, score a goal here or there, and get in fights. Apparently, Gary Bettman did not take too kindly to this and suspends Avery for 6 games, which in and of itself is stupid. Listen the guy calls his ex, "sloppy seconds." That's it. Yes, it is disrespect full to Cuthbert, but since when did Bettman and the media become Dr. Phil? It is not like Avery swore. Our society allows certain words to be said on radio airways and the FCC lets cable go uncensored after 1 AM on the weekends. Yet, everyone seems to be defending the league for the suspension. This is dumb because if he would have played against Calgary, people would have actually watched an NHL game outside of Canada and the D, but that’s another story completely.
And don't give me that it was disrespectful to women crap. I agree that it was disrespectful, but our society accepts an industry like pornography. In addition, advertising uses sex to sell, especially during sporting events. As a result, sporting leagues and teams have absolutely no right to censor the viewing audience's "delicate, virgin ears," because they are already profiting from risque material.
Sunday night, Avery, who served his 6 game suspension, would have been eligible to play. But, Brett Hull had other ideas; he's not playing for the Stars ever again. Hull is thanking his lucky stars, pun intended, that he is getting out a terrible contract with his former teammate. That's what this really is about. Hull found out what everyone else in the NHL knew: that Avery did not care about hockey as much as he did about his celebrity. But, what really yanks me is the media acting like the Stars are setting some new moral standard for the sports. Give it a break. Avery does not do drugs from what we know. He doesn't hurt people physically. He just doesn't put his job number one on his list. Is that a crime? Most of us are the same way. Isn't it Hull's fault for signing the guy? Doesn't anyone have a problem with someone getting the scarlet letter for saying, "sloppy seconds," when this guy is allowed to play again.
Sean Avery isn't a bad guy. Ask Chris Chelios. He was on a local sports talk show promoting his appearance with a our local minor league team and talked about when he and Avery played in Flint during the lockout, and how the two of them paid for all their teammates to go out. What a jerk that Sean Avery is! He merely made a comment about a woman that he shouldn't have. But you know what? Avery was paid to be an agitator on ice, but when he does it off ice that's not allowed. The NHL, the media, and Brett Hull are an absolute joke for playing the moral high road card in this situation. Did anyone suspend Darren McCarty for his problems, which are mostly reprehensible and illegal? Nope, he just could not get signed because he sucked on ice. No one wrote stories about what a jerk McCarty was. He only gets praised when he came back (God bless him for it). My point is when guys in the NHL have problems behind closed doors but the produce no one says anything. Yet, when they say things publicly, like Avery, the media and the NHL enforce a moral high ground theory. Isn't the moral high road suspending the guys who do have off the ice problems too? Everyone knew about McCarty's problems but no one did a thing until his game suffered because he was such a "nice guy." Avery's game was suffering. Not to mention, he's a jerk, so it became convenient for the Stars to part ways with him. That's not the moral high road. They should not be praised and the media has no right to point fingers at this guy when they make money off the very same thing Avery represents, if not worse. Avery's punishment does not fit the crime, or even come close to it, in this case. So pull the wool off your eyes and see what's really going on here before you decide to judge the man.